It is what it is so I'll keep calm and carry on - for now

Hello readers,

I cant believe its October already.  Its been quite a long time since my last posts, January 2025.  The reason for this is that i was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer called Essential Thrombocythemia (ET) the back end of January after scan showed I had an enlarged spleen and issues with my gallbladder and I am only just getting used to the idea that although it won't kill me the nature of my Cancer is that my blood clots very easily so I have much higher chance of having a heart attack or stroke.  I am on Chemotherapy for life every day and double dose at weekends so Monday is a lost day for me now.   My platelets are very high and refuse to come down so it looks as though the chemo will be raised again at my next hospita visit.  I also had to have a Bone Marrow Biopsy (BMB) which concluded that I also have a mutation in my BM called JAK2.  I am just about getting used to the idea now but it still is a very scary road and I thank god that  I have my Bill because he has already travelled this road and knows exactly how I feel and what my fears are.  We have spoken about very dark things like DNR on my medical records if I have a stroke that leaves me useless and also about donating my body to medical science because of the rarity of my disease after I have passed but this is difficult for him to understand why I want to do this, but if I can help someone after I've gone I want to especially now that I can no longer donate organs.  Finally I also had to have my gallbladder removed in April which was a great relief the pain left me instantly and I can now wear a bra without wanting to rip it off within minutes of fastening.

I have spent many hours on my own thinking, crying and being angry - but never ever why me - but I'm now reconciled with it all, it is what it is and I have to keep calm and carry on.  

Just to add to my woes, last one promise, they have now found a growth behind my right eye, which is my good eye, tests ongoing at end of October so I'll let you know what comes from these.  All I can say is thank good for crochet and audio books.